There were two adoptive mothers on the program openly sharing their testimonies of their longing to have children naturally and their struggle with infertility.  These women shared how God began to make it clear that He wanted them to adopt.  I remember that while listening to the adoptive mothers share their miracle stories of how God had brought them their children, God was reawakening the idea of adopting in my heart.  It was then that He began to make my heart tender to the subject again.  Curtis also came home with a video about International adoption he borrowed from a co-worker, David Ellis.  David and his wife were in the process of adopting a child from Korea.  I viewed the video and we decided to send off for an application.  I did this, really, just to pacify Curtis.  He was the one who seemed to have the burden the most to adopt.  The application arrived.  We filled it out and I promptly placed it in a kitchen drawer.  However, I was not completely certain the time was right.  I still wanted another biological child and I just couldn't accept that God wasn't going to bless us in this way.  After all the pro life singing I had done, I reasoned, surely I had "earned" the right to be blessed by God with another biological baby.  This is what I thought.  I considered "adoption" second best, an alternate plan when the "right" plan didn't work.  Even though I considered myself a mature Christian, that was my poor spiritual state at the time.  I didn't realize that adoption is a wonderful privilege and blessing.  So, the adoption application remained in the kitchen drawer for the next two years.